Wild Card
by highvoltagekat
Summary: You request them, I write them. Short one shots about some of WWE/TNAs crack pairings. Rated M for a reason, people.
1. First Time

First Time

A/N:This is supposed to be the first chappie of my sequel to meh storeh, "Luck of the Draw." So, this is just like the first one. It had random pairings, crack pairings to say the least. I am taking requests right now, so hurry hurry hurry!

Rules for requesters:Must be crack pairings! I mean, I'll let one or two semi-canon pairings, but please, no Centon (Though I do love it). Ok, Hardycest is ok because I've never written it before, but still. (Ex. of crack pairings: Shannon Moore/Mark Henry,

Disclaimer:I do not own WWE, or any of it's employees.

Pairing:Jack Swagger/Ted DiBiase Jr./Jesse

- - -

Jesse let out a pleasured moan as Jack and Ted licked his neck, biting at his collarbone. They were soon at his nipples, taking the little nubs into their mouthes, fingers tracing the base of his Jesse's hard cock.

Jack looked over to Ted and nodded, giving one last bite at the neck before they positioned themselves between his legs. Jesse looked up through glazed, half lidded eyes at the two men and moaned out of sheer pleasure and pain as Ted pushed his fingers into him, four when all was said and done.

"Are you ready?" Jack asked, the shorter blonde giving a nod in return.

First, Ted penetrated the older man, letting him get used to his size before Jack pushed his way in as well. They gave a loud groan at the tight heat of Jesse's ass. Jesse, however, was in a daze, on cloud nine, perhaps.

Ted and Jack thrust their hips, pulling in and out of the tight space. They went slow, but through moans and groans, Jesse demanded,"Faster, harder, oh god...!"

They complied, thrusts becoming more forceful, plunging deep into Jesse's tight heat.

Ted curled his hand around Jesse's cock, pumpinh in rhythm with their thrusts.

The room was filled with pants and small curses, all three men turning sweaty from pleasure.

"Oh, f-fuck.. Gonna -Mmm- come...!" Jesse mumbled, trying to keeps his words understandable.

Jack and Ted just thrust harder, stroking Jesse's cock more and more until he cried out, coming onto their chests and stomachs.

The tightening of muscles around their dicks caused Ted and Jack to come as well, shooting their load deep inside their smaller lover. They pulled out, falling onto either side of Jesse.

Ted pulled the older blond over to him,"How was your first threesome?"

"It was fantastic."

Jack took the blond back,"Good. We should do this more often."

Jesse simply yawned in reply. He was soon fast asleep, Ted scooting over to share him in a cuddle with Jack. And that is how they slept. Content and fulfilled.

- - -

A/N:Yes, this made me blush so hard when I was writing it... And now I am strangelly addicted to this pairing. Hmm, peculiar... OH well, read, review, and request!


	2. Hip

Hip

A/N:This is a request for LCHime. This was one of the most cracky pairings I could have ever written. I'm proud of her, she gave me a challenge (even if I wrote this one quick.) So, hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer:I do not own WWE, Eric Bishoff, or the McMahons.

Pairing:Eric Bishoff/Vince McMahon

- - -

Vince felt old. He felt really old. And not the "your-just-over-exaggerating" old, I mean pure, "I-feel-like-shit-all-the-time-so-leave-me-alone" kind of old. So, that's why he went shopping. For the first time in his life, he went shopping with his daughter and overly-flamboyant son.

And now, he was standing in his bedroom, hoping that his clothes were "hip" and "far out" enough. He thought that he looked awesome, but his neightbors just said he looked like a Hot Topic old man reject.

"Vince, where are you? The meeting about new superstars is gonna start in-" Eric walked into the room only to fall forward when he looked at his husband,"What the fuck are you wearing?!"

As a matter-of-factly, Vince wore a way to tight on him t-shirt with "your mom" written on the front, fishnet shirt, black skinny jeans, and combat boots. Vince gave a question look,"What? Isn't this cool?"

Eric got up and stifled back a laugh,"Well, it would be cool, if you were a 21 year old emo loner boy. But hun, your 64 years old. Big difference there, no?"

"But Shane and Stephanie said it was cool. They said I looked positivelly pimp!"

"Since when did you start listening to your kids?"

Vince sighed,"When I started to feel old...."

Eric gave an 'aww' and walked up behind his husband, massaging his shoulders,"Vinnie, you ain't old. Your just, more mature. You don't need to look like a teenage hipster. Besides, I'll love you no matter what."

Vince nodded and smiled,"You love me even though we can't do it any more?"

"Yeah, because I have some one on the side, anyway."

"WHAT?!"

Eric chuckled,"Just kidding, just kidding. Now hurry up and change, that meeting is in a half an hour."

Vince glared,"Fine, fine, fine. But I will get my revenge."

"How?"

"By making my good friend Kristina write you in a fanfic with Hulk Hogan and Brock Lesnar."

"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

- - -

A/N:LOL, little inside thing for me and LC. Hope ya'll done liked it! Red review reguest! ~ Duckii


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